Back Pocket Flagging Guide!

4 04 2011

That’s right folks, we’ve put together a little printable back pocket flagging guide for you to take out on the town. No longer will you have to hijack someone’s smart phone in order to figure who’s flagging what. Enjoy!

  1. click the link below
  2. find a colour printer
  3. press print
  4. trim the edges
  5. fold it up
  6. hit the town

Back Pocket Flagging Guide

Thanks  to Melbourne Leather Pride and the {also} Foundation‘s take care {out} there project for their assistance and support with printing. Pick up a hard copy at Melbourne Leatherpride events and from this weekend!





Hands On

22 03 2011

Jerking each other off, without barriers:

WHITE jerk me off I’ll do us both
  • Hands aren’t the safest: you are not always aware of cuts under and around fingernails. Cuts greatly increase the risk of infection-transmission.
  • Sex fluids that carry infections can infect microcuts that might result from ordinary dry skin or abrasions of any sort, and are invisible to the naked eye. You can check skin for microcuts by splashing it with rubbing alcohol, lemon juice or vinegar: which will cause cuts to sting (frequent exposure to rubbing alcohol will dry the skin in a way that can cause damage).
  • Check all hands: if there are visible cuts or scratches, or you fail “the sting test“, use gloves.
  • Like kissing, most people seem to be ok with the risks involved in hand jobs.
  • Remember: hand jobs are only safest if hands are not swapped; that is one hand per person/orifice. Swapping hands (ie using a hand on yourself then another person without a barrier) involves fluid exchange, and therefore puts you at much greater risk.
  • Safest: use barriers.

[Consensual Sadomasochism]

Our complete safer sex guide is here.





Safest

20 03 2011


BLACK/WHITE check safe sex top safe sex bottom
  • Black/White check (alt. safety pin) originated during the 80s AIDS crisis, for obvious reasons. Flagging Black/White check means you’re in for a night of wholesome play, which doesn’t mean the play is soft, rather that the safest possible option is taken (and fluids aren’t exchanged). Many fluid-bonders choose to play outside a fluid bonding circle/chain with the following activities.

 

Talk

GREEN, Light dirty talk dirty talk

Watch

VELVET, WHITE voyeur will put on a show
VELVET, BLACK has/takes videos will perform for the camera
VELVET, NAVY watches masturbation will masturbate for audience

Non-genital touching

BLANKET seeking massage masseuse
MAUVE worship my navel has a navel fetish
PINK, Dark worship my tits tit worshipper
MAGENTA suck my pits armpit lover
CORAL suck my toes shrimper (sucks toes)
Teddy Bear cuddler cuddlee
  • Skin to skin non-genital contact still harbours the following risks: scabies, crabs (body lice), armpit fungus.

Kissing

BLACK/WHITE stripes kissing kissing
  • saliva exchanging risks: herpes, syphilis.

 

With Barriers (Gloves/Dams/Condoms)

Possible risks even with barrier useHPV, BV, TV, thrush, herpes, hep B, chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis (because they can be transferred by skin to skin contact).

WHITE jerk me off I’ll do us both
BLUE, Robin’s Egg 69 69
BLUE, Light gives oral wants oral
——— BLUE, Light
w/ light PINK stripe
sucks dildo suck my dildo
BLUE, Navy fucking / TOP fucking / BOTTOM
RED, Dark 2-handed fister 2-handed fistee
RED fist fucker fist fuckee
PINK, Light dildo wielder dildo fuckee
BEIGE rimmer rim me

Our complete safer sex guide is here.





Hey Sailor!

16 02 2011
Specific Cares Required

AQUA watersex watersex
  • If you have any kind of sex in open water, make sure all players are good swimmers.
  • Check here for sex in public.
  • Water washes away natural lubricants (from the body).
  • Water degrades latex.
  • Oil based lubes degrade latex, as do other oil based substances like sunscreen, tanning lotion, bath oils, bubble bath, soap and shampoo.
  • Silicone lubricant is the best to use as it is not water soluble (will not be washed away in water).
  • There has been little research into the effectiveness of condoms underwater. That said, it seems silicone lube on a latex condom is the best.
  • As it is water-resistant, silicone lubricants may be difficult to wash off (your body, clothes, sheets).
  • Make sure condoms/gloves are put on dry skin.
  • It is a lot more likely a barrier will slip off; holding it in place will decrease this risk.
  • Any kind of penetrative (front or back) sex in water containing chlorine or bacteria makes abrasions, irritation and infection a lot more likely. High risk: thrush, UTI. This risk is higher for people with a vagina.
  • For sex in shower/bath: invest in a nonslip mat. Having something to hold onto is also a plus (like a bar installed).

[About ContraceptionAsk Men]

Our complete safer sex guide is here.





Bloodplay

15 02 2011

Specific Cares Required

MAROON cuts bleeds
PURPLE piercer piercee
  • Any activities involving blood carry a higher risk for Hepatitis C, HIV and other blood born viruses.
  • Using new equipment, wearing gloves and keeping the procedure sterile dramatically reduces the risk of transmitting bacteria and viruses.
  • Make sure there’s an experienced player involved (rather than 2 novices going at it for the first time).
  • You can’t learn this stuff from text, you need to learn it from a professional or experienced player.
  • On piercing, see Deborah Addington’s Play Piercing or Instigator Magazine 21.
  • Any blood spills should be cleaned up using bleach or alcohol and detergent solutions.
  • Blood on sheets or clothing should be washed with an antibacterial detergent (bleach/napisan).
  • Infection usually comes from foreign sweat or lube entering the open wound. Treat and dress wounds immediately after cutting/piercing.

[Consensual SadomasochismInstigator MagazinePlay PiercingSports Medicine Australia]

Our complete safer sex guide is here.





Effective Barrier Use

12 02 2011

Gloves/Dams/Condoms

The effective use of barriers in the following activities greatly reduces possible transmission by preventing the transfer of infected fluids or by covering an infected site.

Possible risks even with barrier useHPV, BV, TV, thrush, herpes, hep B, chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis

WHITE jerk me off I’ll do us both
BLUE, Robin’s Egg 69 69
BLUE, Light gives oral wants oral
——— BLUE, Light
w/ light PINK stripe
sucks dildo suck my dildo
——— BLUE, Light w/ MAROON stripe gives head to menstruator wants head, is bleeding
BLUE, Navy fucking / TOP fucking / BOTTOM
RED, Dark 2-handed fister 2-handed fistee
RED fist fucker fist fuckee
PINK, Light dildo wielder dildo fuckee
BEIGE rimmer rim me
  • Make sure you have the right size (a tight fit) for gloves and condoms. Different brands have different sizes.
  • You can make dams from unlubricated condoms by cutting them up one side. Extra thin condoms tend to provide more stimulation than dams. You can make a tongue condom from a glove: cut the wrist and fingers off (leaving the thumb in tact), then cut up the side where the pinkie was. This tends to afford the highest sensitivity to both giver and receiver.
  • Ensure barriers are within their use-by date (they degrade over time and are thus more likely to break).
  • Make sure it is not torn when removed from packaging.
  • Coloured gloves are awesome because you can have a different colour for each hand.
  • Double glove for the convenience of moving from back to front play (just whip off the outer glove).
  • With condoms: if relevant, pull back the foreskin. Squeeze the air out of the tip (you can also place a small amount of lube on the inside tip of the condom to reduce air bubbles and increase sensitivity) and roll the condom all the way down.
  • For oral sex/rimming, lube can be put beneath the barrier for extra stimulation – but be aware that this makes it more likely to slip off.  With dams, mark each side with a different coloured marker to more easily keep track of the down and up sides.
  • Hold the barrier in place during use.
  • Check that the condom remains in tact throughout use. The more lube you use and the more frequently (while fucking), the less likely breakage is. When pulling out, hold the base of the condom to ensure it doesn’t slip off.
  • Use barriers only once. Use a different barrier for each person or orifice. Throw them in the bin after use.
  • Use water or silicone-based lube with latex condoms. Non-latex condoms tend to be made of silicone. Don’t use silicone condoms or lube on silicone dildos/toys. Oil based lubes (like hand cream or Vaseline) weaken latex condoms, causing them to break more easily.

Also:

  • Fisting and hand washing are more risky than fingering as the likelihood of tearing the lining of the vagina/anus is higher.
  • On cleaning sex toys.
  • Any activities involving blood carry a higher risk for Hepatitis C, HIV and other blood born viruses.
  • Condom guide

Our complete safer sex guide is here.





General Tips

9 02 2011

General Tips for Safer Play


Before Before play (Be Prepared!)

  • Clean all your sex toys/dildos.
  • Have ready access to barriers (condoms, gloves, dams) and lube.
  • Keep your fingernails short and smooth.
  • Maintain good oral hygiene.
  • Have an idea of your hard limits, and how you plan on avoiding them.
  • Know if you have any allergies (like latex).
  • Know your lube preferences, and how different lubes interact with different toys and parts of the body.
  • Know what agreement you have with a fluid-bondee for playing outside.

Before play

  • Be aware of cuts or scraps on your body, especially hands and mouth, and if you’re feeling sick.
  • “Sting test” your hands (and any other parts of your body that may come into contact with fluids): Sex fluids that carry infections can infect microcuts that might result from ordinary dry skin or abrasions of any sort, and are invisible to the naked eye. You can check skin for microcuts by splashing it with rubbing alcohol, lemon juice or vinegar: which will cause cuts to sting (frequent exposure to rubbing alcohol will dry the skin in a way that can cause damage).
  • Wash your hands with anti-bacterial soap.
  • Don’t brush your teeth or floss.
  • Take a piss.
  • Inform players of your allergies, lube preferences.
  • Look at other players hands, and if relevant, genitals for lesions.
  • Negotiate how you want to play. <LC: more info in link coming soon>

During play

  • The best way to decrease the risk of infection transmission is to prevent infected site contact and limit abrasions.
  • If relevant, make sure barriers are used effectively.
  • Avoid rubbing your/their eyes, especially if there’s been junk/butt/mouth touching.
  • Don’t move from back activity to front activity without a barrier change .
  • Consent. Checking in. <LC: more info in link coming soon>

After play

  • Throw any used barriers in a bin.
  • Wash your hands with anti-bacterial soap (or use hand sanitiser).
  • Take a piss, especially after IV.
  • Aftercare. <LC: more info in link coming soon>

Our complete safer sex guide is here. Where appropriate, further advice should be sought from a medical practitioner.





Location Location

8 02 2011


MOSQUITO NETTING outdoors outdoors
RED/WHITE GINGHAM parks parks
TOILET PAPER public toilets
(seeks service)
public toilets
(offers service)
  • Make sure your hands are clean (you can carry hand sanitiser). Give head rather than hand jobs. Safest: Use barriers.
  • Respect the space: take all rubbish (eg used barriers) with you.
  • You might be breaking the law if you are caught engaging in “offensive behaviour”. This includes exposing your genitals (including bum), or engaging in any sexual activity in public (which may include a car or a public toilet if the door is open).
  • Behaviour is not considered offensive if the observer has to take abnormal or unusual action to observe it (such as looking under a locked toilet cubicle door).
  • Go here for sex in water.

[takecare.org.au]

Our complete safer sex guide is here. Where appropriate, further advice should be sought from a medical practitioner.





On Safer Sex

6 02 2011

Inspired by the also foundation’s take care {out} there safer sex education program, and the piles of free condoms we have hoarded by our beds from it, opinicus rampant is collating our own risk-reduction safer sex guide.

Over the next few weeks we’ll be updating each section as listed below. If you have any great links or ideas, let us know by submitting a comment to this page.

Safe sex guides generally suck, and just say things like ‘always use barriers’. The fact is, the risks are different with different sex acts and different STIs. We don’t know anyone who practises barrier sex all the time (even those with a latex fetish).

Safer sex guides tend to be written with the broadest possible definition of ‘unsafe’. We’re trying to do the opposite, by thinking about how things are safe or could be safer, and detailing the actual risks involved in each sex act so that consenting adults can decide for themselves which risks to take.

Get tested regularly so you know the status of your sexual health (at least once per year if you’ve had sex, at least once every 6 months if you’ve had sex with multiple people). Most STIs are treatable, and if you get one which isn’t – knowing about it and how it affects your body and the possibility of passing it on is the only responsible way to have sex. If you do test positive to an STI it is important to tell your recent sex partners, which you can do anonymously via e-card or sms from here.

Most contact with other people doesn’t lead to infection. In order for an infection to be transmitted from one person to another all of the following must occur:

  • the organism (virus, bacteria, fungi or parasite) must be in or on a person’s body and still be able to be transmitted;
  • the organism must leave the body of the person who has the virus;
  • the organism must be able to survive in the environment;
  • the organism must find its way onto or into another person; and
  • the organism must be in sufficient quantity to infect that person.

There are 4 types of STIs:

  • Viral: HPV; herpes; hepatitis A, B and C; HIV;
  • Bacterial: syphilis; gonorrhoea; chlamydia
  • Fungal: thrush; BV;
  • Parasitic: public lice (crabs); scabies

Hepatitis B is the most highly infectious (easily transmitted) and most durable of STDs. Most STDs are fragile and do not live long outside the body, Hep B is the exception. There are vaccines for Hep B, Hep A and some (but not all) strains of HPV. The 4 strains of HPV that the vaccine Gardasil prevents account for 90% of genital warts cases and 70% of cervical cancer cases.

With Hepatitis C there is a low risk of infection in sexual activity that does not involve blood. This is because the virus needs to be in sufficient quantities and enter the blood stream in order to be infected. While the virus is still carried in body fluids other than blood, they are in lower quantities.

Cuts on the body (especially hands and including mouth) greatly increase the risk of infection-transmission. You are not always aware of cuts on your body, especially under and around fingernails or inside the mouth and back of the throat. Cuts inside the vagina or anus (of which you will be unaware) makes transmission easier, however the mucous membranes of these areas allow transmission into the bloodstream (without cuts).

Crabs  (public lice) are the most infectious STI, if you share a bed or are naked with someone who has them, you’re pretty much guaranteed to get them.

While we hope to eventually have collated a complete safer sex guide for all genders and sexualities, our priority is to detail that which is most relevant to women and transguys who have sex with women/transguys.

Almost all safer sex guides are cock-centred, if you can’t find one on your own – here you go: the drama downunder.

For transguys who have sex with guys, there is one online guide available Back Pocket Guide for Transmen and the Men Who Dig Them and 2 works in progress: tm4m and DUDE!

Our complete safer sex guide is here. Where appropriate, further advice should be sought from a medical practitioner.





Pitching the woo.

28 03 2010

[gauche 28/3/10]

I think queer feminist culture could do with a little more wooing. And I think also, that a radical conception of consent is right to problematise pursuit and persuasion, and to reject utterly “working out a yes” as coercion. The word “seduction” already implies some form of deceit, and etymologically “seduce” comes from the Latin for “to lead away”, and it’s an easy slide from “away” to “astray”.

But there’s no contradiction between consent and pitching the woo — if anything, the idea of the “pitch” assumes a right of refusal, and incorporates the intentionality of desire that sets my breath on fire, even if I succumb as much as anyone to accident, demurral, and the inculpability and opacity of being easy, lazy and vague (cf. trashbag; light grey, right). Keeping your desires unvoiced, unspecified or even unknown may protect you, and you might well get just as much play, but that style is tepid. There’s something way hot about compelling a direct response, and opening yourself to explicit rejection. I like that flagging can help start that question — but there’s a lot hankies can’t say for you.

I love Queerfatfemme’s podcast on courtship for taking romance as a verb and making it a skill to perfect. I’m not sure about “nobody ever died of awkward” (the phrase “mortification of the flesh” comes to mind) but I’m looking forward to being a little more fearless. You can’t always get what you want, no matter how killer your game. But if you try sometimes …

[gauche 15/6/2010]
We’ve had a flag for this for a while, but I didn’t get around to adding it.

___w Flower Pattern pitching the woo (romance top) getting wooed (romance bottom)







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