Hanky coding originally was a way of queer people identifying each other, but it’s better not to assume the sex-gender of who’s flagging or who that flagger is seeking; there’s no reason why straight people can’t be flagging hankies these days. Flagging is about inviting questions, and the more straight people who aren’t offended by being hit on by queer people (but rather are open to conversations about sex and sexuality), the better.
But there is a history to straight [anti-]flagging that has potential to be played with [contrary to popular belief, there is not one but TWO straight flags]:
- A ring on the left fourth finger means married
- A ring on the right fourth finger means committed (not married)
As you can see, ring symbolism has been used not so much as flag but an anti-flag. Ring flagging doesn’t have to flag ‘straight’ – on the contrary, ring flagging could be a way to break down straight/queer (flagging) divides.
[posted by max 10/05/10]
– – –
Similar concept and an antiflag is the MsTaken ring and it’s accompanying video. The idea behind is that if someone undesirable is hitting on you, then you can get out your MsTaken ring and tell them that you are married. It even comes with a key chain to hide your ring/flag in.
Jay Wiseman in SM 101 proposes hets flag general kink interest with a “black leather ring, held together with a single rivet” on left or right as appropriate.