Safer Sex

Over the next few weeks we’ll be updating each section as listed below. If you have any great links or ideas, let us know by submitting a comment to this page.

Safe(r) sex guides tend to say things like ‘always use barriers’. The fact is, the risks are different with different sex acts and different STIs. We don’t know anyone who practises barrier sex all the time.

Safer sex guides tend to be written with the broadest possible definition of ‘unsafe’. We’re trying to do the opposite, by thinking about how things are safe or could be safer, and detailing the actual risks involved in each sex act so that consenting adults can decide for themselves which risks to take.

Get tested regularly so you know the status of your sexual health (at least once per year if you’ve had sex, at least once every 6 months if you’ve had sex with multiple people). Most STIs are treatable, and if you get one which isn’t, knowing about it and how it affects your body and the possibility of passing it on is the only responsible way to have sex. If you do test positive to an STI it is important to tell your recent sex partners, which you can do anonymously via e-card or sms from here. Some health providers also offer a contact tracing service where they notify your sex partners by telephone.

Most contact with other people doesn’t lead to infection. In order for an infection to be transmitted from one person to another all of the following must occur:

  • the organism (virus, bacteria, fungi or parasite) must be in or on a person’s body and still be able to be transmitted;
  • the organism must leave the body of the person who has the virus;
  • the organism must be able to survive in the environment;
  • the organism must find its way onto or into another person; and
  • the organism must be in sufficient quantity to infect that person.

There are 4 types of STIs:

Hepatitis B is the most highly infectious (easily transmitted) and most durable of STDs. Most STDs are fragile and do not live long outside the body, Hep B is the exception. There are vaccines for Hep B, Hep A and some (but not all) strains of HPV. The 4 strains of HPV that the vaccine Gardasil prevents account for 90% of genital warts cases and 70% of cervical cancer cases.

With Hepatitis C there is a low risk of infection in sexual activity that does not involve blood. This is because the virus needs to be in sufficient quantities and enter the blood stream in order to be infected. While the virus is still carried in body fluids other than blood, they are in lower quantities.

Cuts on the body (especially hands and including mouth) greatly increase the risk of infection-transmission. You are not always aware of cuts on your body, especially under and around fingernails or inside the mouth and back of the throat. Cuts inside the vagina or anus (of which you will be unaware) makes transmission easier, however the mucous membranes of these areas allow transmission into the bloodstream (without cuts). Decreasing the likelihood of sustaining abrasions during intravaginal or anal (by using barriers and lots of lube) dramatically decreases the risk of infection transmission.

Crabs  (public lice) are the most infectious STI, if you share a bed or are naked with someone who has them, you’re pretty much guaranteed to get them.

While we hope to eventually have collated a complete safer sex guide for all genders and sexualities, our priority is to detail that which is most relevant to women and trans guys who have sex with women and trans guys. Almost all safer sex guides offer advice about penis if not specifically PIV type sex, here’s a good one for the risks of penis play: the drama downunder.

For trans guys who have sex with cis guys, there is one online guide available Primed and one work-in-progress: tm4m. For post-op trans women and men, there’s this guideDUDE! is a sex guide for playing with transguys.


General Tips for Safer Play


Let’s talk about this: Consent <coming soon>

  • Our Sexy Dictionary of Inclusive Words <coming soon>


Location Location

MOSQUITO NETTING outdoors outdoors
TOILET PAPER public toilets
(seeks service)
public toilets
(offers service)
AQUA watersex watersex


Safest activities: talking, watching, non-genital touching.

GREEN, Light dirty talk dirty talk
VELVET, WHITE voyeur will put on a show
VELVET, BLACK has/takes videos will perform for the camera
VELVET, NAVY watches masturbation will masturbate for audience
BLANKET seeking massage masseuse
MAUVE worship my navel has a navel fetish
PINK, Dark worship my tits tit worshipper
MAGENTA suck my pits armpit lover
CORAL suck my toes shrimper (sucks toes)
Teddy Bear cuddler cuddlee

Risks: scabies, crabs (body lice), armpit fungus.


BLACK/WHITE stripes kissing kissing

Risks:  herpessyphilis


With Barriers (Gloves/Dams/Condoms)

WHITE jerk me off I’ll do us both
BLUE, Robin’s Egg 69 69
BLUE, Light gives oral wants oral
——— BLUE, Light
w/ light PINK stripe
sucks dildo suck my dildo
BLUE, Navy fucking / TOP fucking / BOTTOM
RED, Dark 2-handed fister 2-handed fistee
RED fist fucker fist fuckee
PINK, Light dildo wielder dildo fuckee
BEIGE rimmer rim me


Hands On

WHITE jerk me off I’ll do us both

Specific Cares Required

MAROON cuts bleeds
PURPLE piercer piercee
  • watersports <coming soon>
  • bondage <coming soon>
  • spanking <coming soon>
  • SM: great specific and general playing safely guide Consensual Sadomasochism

Fluid Bonding > The New Marriage? <coming soon>

A Note on Fetishes and Roleplay <coming soon>

Um, for real? <coming soon>

WINE STAIN drunk drunk

References: About Contraception * Acon * Ask MenAvert * Blow Him Away * Consensual Sadomasochismdrama downunder, theDUDE! * Instigator MagazineOpening Up * Play PiercingPrimed * Sports Medicine AustraliaSquirms, Screams and Squirtstm4m * well project, the

3 responses

10 05 2010

i think that the tips i’ve seen for fellatio without a condom can probably apply to blood play too, although i think that blood is slightly riskier than cum (at least with, say, HIV concentration).
Anyway, the advice:
-do not brush or floss very soon before or after
-either spit or swallow, but do so quickly because the risk is exposure to the blood stream through cuts in the mouth.

i’m pretty sure that most STIs are pretty fragile and are killed by stomach acid pretty much immediately

10 05 2010

2 Words – Fucking Brilliant!

6 02 2011

Scarleteen is a totally awesome safe sex resource:

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